Blog Over Troubled Water

Wednesday, December 31, 2003

A New Year's Resolution for 2005?

I don't make New Year's resolutions. I know myself well enough to know that it is a pointless task. However (somehow you knew that was coming, right?!)...a couple of weeks ago (and before yesterday's post where I pretty much waved the white flag on having the killer bod of my dreams), I decided to set a new "fitness" goal...for 2005. So technically NOT a New Year's resolution!

I had grown up watching the NYC marathon every year. I always thought running a marathon was a cool (and yes, crazy) thing. That said, I have never been a "runner" anytime in my life...something that has not changed even after seven months at the gym.

But with the local publicity for the first ever P.F. Chang's Rock 'n' Roll Arizona Marathon the idea of actually doing it crept back into my head... Well not exactly, a less loony half-marathon event is also being offered ...and that really seemed like an attractive alternative for someone like me...completing a 13.1 mile run would still be pretty darn satisfying on a personal level.

In the past couple of weeks, I started to run about a mile on the treadmill and even a couple of times around the neighborhood. The initial attempts were not bad...I survived. This past Sunday, I decided to push myself with a longer run - 2 miles. I was pleased with the 18 minutes it took to complete the loop ... certainly not speedy, but not bad for a newbie. I felt like I was going to barf up a lung afterwards...and ever since my body has been pretty much shouting "what the f*ck?!?"... Monday was a stiff neck, Tuesday was tight calves, and this morning everything moved to the middle with a sore left glute (ok, ass!).

We'll see where this goes... I know "pain" is part of the process and it is probably just something my body needs to work through and get used to...

Happy New Year to All... Best Wishes for 2004!
- posted by Ed | 12/31/2003 10:53:00 AM | | Link

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Let's Get Physical

I went to the gym yesterday and decided to get a "fit test" 6-month re-test... a benchmark for the upcoming year. I think the days of real big improvements are over.

The bad news: My cardio reading was way down from "excellent" to middle-range "good." I blame this partially on temperamental treadmills. I think I could go on five different machines and get five different ratings. Despite believing my biceps were getting bigger and stronger, my bicep strength was down 7% since June and still wallowing in the "fair" range. My flexibility was poor and remains poor with the "sit and reach" test...no real surprise there. My "overall fitness" score was also down 7% since June.

The good news: My body fat dropped .5% since June and remains in the "excellent" range. My skinfold "pinches" showed improvement in the chest, back, triceps, and abs. My "body age" is 4 years younger than my "chronological age."

I thought I had been doing pretty good of late and really expected better numbers. I guess I should just find my pre-gym days "report" and take comfort in that - or that at beginning of this year words/phrases like "body fat," "skinfolds," and "bicep strength" were not even in my vocabulary. Yesterday's results should have motivated me to work harder, but instead I just slunk out of the gym... [sigh!]
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Two more films to add on as "Movie Marathon Weekend" mercifully ends with the return of my other half this evening. One Hour Photo and Monster's Ball...or "hey-look-what-kind-of-acting-I-can-really-do!" from Robin Williams and Halle Berry respectively.

Both were good films and certainly not a waste of time. OHP was just creepy/uncomfortable throughout (as was intended)...it certainly makes one glad to own a digital camera as film developer Williams gets a little too attached to a photo-happy family. MB could not have been more depressing... just let's say the grim reaper visits often. Fine performances from Billy Bob Thorton and Berry... though for Berry, I don't think it was an Oscar-winning (worthy, yes) performance.
- posted by Ed | 12/30/2003 08:02:00 AM | | Link

Monday, December 29, 2003

I'm "All In"

My latest TV addiction is watching poker. I knew these shows existed, but I never saw the appeal of watching it like a sport. As I have noted here in the past I do like poker, but video poker which I relentlessly playing video poker at the casinos (we won't talk about my disastrous results at the local Indian casino over the weekend -- this despite hitting a $200 royal flush on a nickel machine)...so I guess it was only a matter of time before I gave TV poker viewing a try.

It started innocently enough watching Bravo's latest hit show Celebrity Poker Showdown. It was fun watching the celebs (especially the all West Wing episode) play the game... No Limit Texas Hold'em. Then, I decided to see how the real pros play -- so I TiVo'd an episode of the Travel Channel's World Poker Tour. Now this was some serious and entertaining play... with a few bloop-bloops of the TiVo I set a Season Pass...and ended up with 8 hours worth of WPT episodes during their day-after Christmas marathon. While I admit to some WPT fatigue, now that I am "caught up" I am pretty sure I will keep watching.

I don't think I could every play it for real. Heck, I have never even played poker socially. First, I am still a little shaky in understanding the betting (ante/call/raise) aspect. Next, I am fairly intimidated by any casino table games. I have played blackjack on rare occasions, but could not imagine playing against a group of people. Finally, I don't think I could muster up any kind of "poker face" -- it is clear while watching these poker shows that the game is largely a psychological battle.

I am not a good liar. Heck, even hen Todd called in from his post-holiday trip he knew within 5 seconds that something was wrong. Going waaaay off topic, had another household dog fight over food bowl possessiveness on Friday night... with my calf being chomped into while trying to break it up. I'll live... but if anyone has doggie advice go here for the full story.
- posted by Ed | 12/29/2003 09:46:00 AM | | Link

Sunday, December 28, 2003

"Angels" Final Thoughts/Taking a Spin on "Mulholland Drive"

I never did give my final thoughts about Angels in America. Many posts back I
expressed my fairly conservative praise for the first half of the HBO production, but the second half revived my belief that it is one of the great works of my lifetime.

There is a lot going on and I think it took watching the second half to help me mentally clean up some of the perceived messiness of the first half. Despite the depressing subject matter, "Perestroika" turns Kushner's piece into a story about hope, survival, and living (with a little good vs. evil thrown in...Prior surviving, Roy dying). One of the themes (motif?) that really struck in the movie version was that of finding help in unexpected places: Mormon mom Hannah Pitt with Prior, Belize's tough love approach to the dying Roy, Roy's unused AZT stash to help others, Louis helping Joe come out. I could go on (though probably not very eloquently), but overall this is a very rich and challenging piece...deserving of much of the praise it has received. I am glad I did not end up being disappointed.

However, I think I had such strong memories of the seeing it on stage since it was one of the rare occasions I felt the sense of the local gay community. Needless to say, the "family" is a big supporter of the theater anywhere you go...but here in relative surburbia, you feel like very visible minority. Two guys at the theater draw very different conclusions than the same two guys at a baseball game (to be "Seinfeld-ian," not that there is anything wrong with that). The theater seats here are mostly filled with groups of women, wives dragging husbands along for payback for all the sporting events offered in this town, or families (for those Disney productions). So when Angels hit town 5-6 years ago, it was very empowering to sit with a full audience of what had to be 70%+ gay males.

I think that is why watching the movie version in my living room carried the burden of extra expectations... nothing HBO or Mike Nichols or the actors could do could replicate that experience. That is why I think the stage is such a vibrant and irreplaceable vehicle...raw and unedited acting (or singing) combined with the instant, spontaneous, and constant gauge of an audience.

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Movie mania continued last night with Mulholland Drive -- what a total mind f*ck!! But I guess I should have known that since it was "Written and Directed By David Lynch." I was keeping an open mind trying to piece together this movie... eventually this would all come together and make sense, I said to myself...ok, this is weird, very weird but keep going with it. Then about two hours in (and with 20-30 minutes left), Lynch completely turns over the apple cart...my mind is spinning, trying to mentally stay above water with the new "reality"...but before that could totally happen for me it was the dark screen and closing credits! What the f*ck?!

I immediately rushed to my computer for assistance. Sure enough I found some amateur (but expertly presented) help about the film. In minutes, my impressions of the film went from thinking it was an incomprehensible mess to simply a masterful work. I am pretty disappointed in myself that I needed what amounts to the "Cliff Notes" to get it...at one point in my life I thought myself to be a pretty good film connoisseur (was pretty close to getting a film minor in college...for all that would have been worth). I probably should have been more patient and let my mind process what I had just seen...but in this age of instant gratification, the Internet was a too tempting a source.

[WARNING: Do not go to this site if you have not seen the film or do want to see it]
Mulholland Drive: A Visual Analysis was an incredibly effective deconstruction of the film. While I am sure there are dozen more interpretations, this one cleared away the cobwebs and got the mental light-bulbs popping very quickly.

I am sure I will give Mulholland a second viewing with my new knowledge in hand. This is a movie that does not spoon-feed you every little piece of information and has a staying power beyond yesterday's newspaper. Most films these days don't do that...heck, 80% (90%?) of the time the trailers give away the entire the film.

While I like the breezy romantic comedy as much as the next guy (or should I say "gal"?), I think I should certainly make more of an effort to track down films that make me think...or at least make me need to race to the Internet to learn more.
- posted by Ed | 12/28/2003 11:05:00 AM | | Link

Saturday, December 27, 2003

Movie Reviews

One of my plans to counteract boredom over these next few days was to catch up on some movies. Yesterday afternoon I met up with one of my few in-town friends who I had not seen in awhile to catch a movie in the theater (something I also had not done in awhile)... and around 9:30p (still twiddling my thumbs) watched one of the many movies I had TiVo'd in anticipation of my weekend ennui (fancy word, huh?!). So anyway, here are my thoughts:

Something's Gotta Give - A pretty cute movie of finding love (or sex) after 50. Basically, Diane Keaton is playing "Diane Keaton" and Jack Nicholson is playing "Jack Nicholson." I don't know if writer/director Nancy Meyers wrote these roles specifically for these two actors, but in the end both parts were surely customized to play into the leads' strengths (or comfort zone). Props to both of them for not shying away from some gratuitous nudity! I think we have Kathy Bates from last year's About Schmidt to thank (or not) if this becomes a trend for the older actor sect.

I was kind of hoping for the non-predictable ending (who Keaton's character would end up with...Nicholson or Keanu Reeves...is this really a decision?!)...but this is a mainstream Hollywood film, so I guess I should have known there would be no surprises. Plenty of good laughs along the way. Amanda Peet's (playing Keaton's daughter) had the most distracting eyebrows that I have seen in some time...I could not focus on anything else while she was on screen. And it was great to see the always delightful Frances McDormand (playing Keaton's sister) who did a great job in a pretty small role.
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Wet Hot American Summer - Now I really wasn't expecting a good movie here...but this was truly awful (I even feel asleep during for the last 20 minutes). I thought it might be a fun spin on the 1980s with a handful of B-actors that I do enjoy... Janeane Garofalo, Frasier's David Hyde Pierce, SNL's Molly Shannon and Amy Poehler, Michael Ian Black (I don't watch NBC's Ed, but get a kick out of Black's commentary on VH-1 70s/80s flashback shows), Chris Meloni, and Paul Ruud (best known now as Phoebe's fiancee Mike on Friends).

I am glad smell-o-vision does not exist, because this one would have stunk up the
place. The only redeeming aspects were a few scenes of Ruud wearing nothing but
cut-offs. Ruud tends to chub out at times, but he was looking pretty darn fine in this one.
- posted by Ed | 12/27/2003 11:05:00 AM | | Link

Friday, December 26, 2003

Experiencing the post-holiday letdown...I am sure I was not alone in feeling pretty "wound out" by yesterday. So much effort for what ends up benig such a small period of time.

I am also experiencing some people/pet withdrawal. Less than 24 hours ago, the house was buzzing with 4 people and 5 animals...and now it is down to 1 person (me) and 4 animals...and it is going to remain that way for a bit. So the next 5 days or so will probably be filled with too much internet, tv, and sleeping and probably not too much eating (I am not good at feeding just myself) and general lack of productivity.

Overall, Christmas was a success. Good food and gifts. My tally included: CDs (Bette Midler and "best of" compilations from Bruce Springsteen & Sheryl Crowe, mini/portable TV, Calvin Klein cologne, two buildings for my burgeoning Christmas village, two cookbooks, and Calphalon cookware. Not bad, huh?!
- posted by Ed | 12/26/2003 01:55:00 PM | | Link

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

The Dreaded Christmas Letter

Well, today ended up being a busier than expected "work" day...so little time to do an "original" blog -- so I guess it is time to do the "cop-out" and post the annual Christmas letter that went out to my friends/family this year. I even mention blogging!

First off though, Happy Holidays to everyone who stumbled onto this blog. For those of you who have become regular readers, a big thanks! Your words, comments, etc. (even those anonymous hits) have been encouraging for what started out to be my own little personal experiment. I have enjoyed working things out or just having some fun recounting the daily goings-on in my life....my own "living history" (not just you Hillary R. Clinton!) down in print.

I will be around for the holiday...after spending tomorrow and Christmas Day with my extended family I will be solo for a few days...so I am sure I will turn to Blogger as a diversion.

So without further ado... The Christmas Letter!

Ed’s 2003 Yule Blog

The hot trend this year is blogging – folks keeping what amounts to personal diaries on the World Wide Web. So, I offer the original “blog” – the annual holiday newsletter!

Mid-Life Crisis Hits? – In May, I joined a health club. I do not know exactly why. Was it now or never to finally get into shape? Or was it that the new 3+ acre club a mile away looked pretty cool? Whatever the reason/motivation, it ended up being a smart move. Six months later, I am probably in the best shape of my life. I lost a good deal of body fat (just because you are thin, does not mean you that you don’t have fat!), while gaining desirable “lean mass” (that means “muscle” in gym-speak). Don’t worry, I won’t be turning up on the cover of a fitness magazine any time soon.

The Circle of Life – Had some sad times over the summer, as my first cat Maggie passed away. It was a quick decline with what was thought to be some form of cancer. I adopted Mags back in 1990, very shortly after my arrival here in Arizona, so she there with me during some major life changes. Later in the summer, Maggie’s “successor” joined the household…a very sprite and bouncy grey tabby kitten named Lola. It did not take long for Lola to make friends with my elder feline Marius and work things out with the dogs, Mindy and Toby.

Viva Las Vegas – The big trip this year was an extended weekend in Sin City. Saw a bunch of great shows: Cirque de Soleil’s very risqué “Zumanity,” the Gospel Brunch at the House of Blues, and the hottest ticket in town – Celine Dion’s “A New Day.” Made the trip by car for the first time ever…so got to ride right across the impressive Hoover Dam. Best yet, I won about $600!

Other Stuff – Entertainment is still chewing up a lot of the “disposable” income. Had another full season of AZ Diamondbacks baseball games… a bunch of concerts (The Dixie Chicks, Annie Lennox, and next Shania Twain)… still going to the theater (“The Full Monty,” “The Producers,” “Mamma Mia!”). If you watch TV and use your VCR – go out and get a TiVo recorder now, it was the “How did I ever live without it?” product purchase of the year!

Have a great holiday season and best wishes for 2004!
- posted by Ed | 12/23/2003 01:50:00 PM | | Link

Monday, December 22, 2003

Shania Past, Hillary Future

Had a good time at the Shania Twain concert on Friday night. Shania definitely wins the "Miss Congeniality" award -- starting the show off wearing an AZ Diamondbacks jersey and finishing off w/ a Phoenix Coyotes jersey (she apparently wears hometown sport jerseys in each city), raising money for a local children's charity, and shaking hands and signing autographs as she circled her "in-the-round" stage. In a moment that would make any mother proud, she always said "thank you" (even mid-song) when gifts were handed to her from the crowd. None of her wildly sexy trademark outfits were on display, Shania instead opted for "girl-next-door" simplicity.

The show however did little to dispel any thoughts that Shania is a "studio" artist - in other words, her vocals get a lot of help in the recording process. She is certainly a competent singer - I just don't think she would get very far in say an American Idol-type competition. But nevertheless, I respect artists the most who sing, write, and play their own music (though Shania did not pick up a guitar on Friday -- and with a 9-member band I guess there was little reason to).

The night was filled with all of her catchy hit songs. While there is some truth in what the local critic said about them ("Twain's catalog has the musical staying power of a Chinese meal"), they met all the criteria of what makes good pop music. Yes, pop music. This concert rocked and popped - leaving much of Shania's country music roots, in my opinion, floating somewhere in the dust.

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My next "celebrity" run-in will be no other the Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton! Saturday's newspaper informed us the Clinton would be stopping in town on January 5th for a book-signing. And while it is no surprise that our household already owns a copy of Living History, we jumped at the opportunity to purchase a couple of more copies and meet her in-person. We already have our "place in line" reservation -- 173 & 174. Our local independent bookstore must be loving this...with those 170+ books sold in just a couple of hours after the opening on Saturday.

The Clinton office put some serious restrictions on the signing. A maximum of 900 books (this is apparently the number of books "Hill" can whip through in 1.5 hours), no personalization just a signature, 2 book maximum and only books purchased at this store, no other books or memorabilia signed, and no photos. But nevertheless I am pretty excited to have my allotted 6 seconds with the Senator and former First Lady.

For an alternate account of these events, please click here...in one household there are only so many thing to blog about!
- posted by Ed | 12/22/2003 08:24:00 AM | | Link

Friday, December 19, 2003

Having trouble staying motivated work-wise... I think everyone is just about ready to "call it in" and just get on with the holiday already...eke out the rest of today and then hang in there on Monday and Tuesday...we can do it!

Weekend plans include the Shania Twain concert tonight and then just finishing up the holiday preparations -- which really isn't all that much. Shopping is all done and and everything is wrapped up...wrapped up very badly mind you. My gift wrapping ability ranges from adequate to horrid...my final gifts were more the latter...from incorrectly measuring how much paper was needed to fully cover the box to ending up with seemingly yards of paper to try and fold up the sides (which I think resemble life-size origami french hens at this point). Oh well, I guess my wrapping is part of the "charm."

Otherwise, just picking up stuff for the holiday meals. For Christmas Eve, a New Mexican feast of posole and carne adovada is on tap. For Christmas Day, it is a roast with various side dishes (in other words, I am still not exactly sure). For desserts, I am planning on cheesecake cookie squares (recipe from Grandma) and apple cake (recipe from Food TV's Rachael Ray)...and maybe some pumpkin oatmeal cookies (recipe from box of pumpkin bread).

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The latest odd searches that lead people to this blog:
"saddam chia pet"
"saddam got run over by a reindeer"
"funniest version of holy night"
- posted by Ed | 12/19/2003 08:42:00 AM | | Link

Thursday, December 18, 2003

I'm All Shook Up

I am currently listening to an early Christmas gift... Elvis Presley's: If Every Day Was Like Christmas. As you may have already read, I am picky about my Christmas music...but I think this one is going to stay in the CD player through the holidays.

I am a very late arrival on the Elvis bandwagon. Growing up he had little, if any, impact on me. There were not any Elvis albums in our family collection (granted there was hardly any music other than my own). Elvis died when I was fairly young. I remember the hysteria surrounding it. But I wondered what all the fuss was about over this fat, has-been, pill-popping, kitschy Las Vegas singer.

These days, I can't get enough of him. I don't when or why the change occurred. Maybe it just took some time for the appreciation to grow... getting past the "fat" Elvis and discovering his rockin', soulful, catchy, and sexy distinctive sound. Elvis was an original...something I think that is sorely lacking in most of today's music. But thousands of peformers owe a "thank you, thank you very much" for his groundbreaking music, style, and mannerisms (where would 90% of today's artists be if they could not swivel their hips on television).

On our recent car trip to Vegas, I burned my own "greatest hits" Elvis CD merging ELV1S 30 #1 Hits (my first Elvis CD/album ever) and its follow-up ELVIS 2nd To None. What a perfect soundtrack for tooling around the city where Elvis is still very much a palpable presence...all we needed was Danny from NBC's "Las Vegas" along for the ride to make things perfect [sigh]...but that is probably better left for another post...or maybe not [evil grin]!

From the CD player to the "Aloha From Hawaii" white-jump-suited ornament hanging on the tree...Elvis happily lives in my house this Christmas.
- posted by Ed | 12/18/2003 09:18:00 AM | | Link

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Has anyone else had their fill of watching Saddam's open up and say "aaaah" and have his hair picked through for ticks (or maybe they were just checking for split-ends)? I know it is just all about humiliating "the dictator" -- but I got the point the first 72 times I saw it.

That is the problem with news "events" with clips that only last 20 seconds...we get to see them over and over and over again. Worse yet while at the gym last night I got to see it on multiple TV screens all at once!

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Speaking of the gym, I returned last night after taking two sessions off (I usually go 3x/week). Geez, you leave and come back to behemoths at every turn -- and here I was starting to feel good about my progress. While I have no desire to get "huge," I still wonder what these guys are exactly doing? I know I can't turn back the hands of time and become a 20-something...but there are certainly plenty of guys around or over my age with impressive bods. I have been fairly good about working out. But I guess that is the problem right there -- "fairly good" is not gonna do it.

But that brings us to the next issue - discipline, or lack thereof. My life often feels "free-time-challenged" so an extra 2 or 3 hours per week at the gym per week is not a priority (nor likely!). Additionally, I am not a big eater. I am guessing some of these guys are probably chowing down thousands of more calories than I am in order to build those muscles. Then we can get into all those supplements -- and again, beyond an occasional protein bar/shake, I am not getting into any of that stuff. So while I am very pleased with my progress, I am not sure how much further I am going to get without making some changes.

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I am still getting a kick out of seeing what Google/AOL/Yahoo searches are leading people to this blog. I am guessing 98% of folks are ending up quite disappointed.

By far, the most popular search is for Mr. B...you know Oprah's designer guy. I shamelessly "plugged" him for hits in my December 8th entry -- and boy did that seem to work. I hesitate to mention him by name anymore...since I am certainly not providing the goods everyone is looking for!

Surprisingly, I am getting a lot of hits for "Chia Pets" - one of my topics on December 5th. I hope I did not offend any Chia owners/buyers with my off-the-cuff remarks about it being the ultimate gag gift. Definitely underestimated the public's response and need for more things Chia!

The funniest search (and its happened at least twice) is for Kelly Ripa Dunk Tank.
Now, since I am a somewhat regular viewer of Live With Regis & Kelly, I know what this is about. Kelly and Regis did dunk each other in a segment on their show...but I never wrote about it! "Kelly Ripa" was mentioned in passing regarding her primetime sitcom, I used the phrase "slam dunk" in another entry about the presidential race, and finally I made note of TV's Karen Sisco wearing "tank" tops. Pretty strange, huh?
- posted by Ed | 12/16/2003 09:04:00 AM | | Link

Monday, December 15, 2003

After a couple of frantic holiday preparation weekends, it was a total crash-and-burn this weekend. Except for some minor and final "decking the halls," most of the weekend, and especially, Sunday was spent in a slump. I am sure that next weekend will kick it back into gear before the big day.

A couple of TV notes from the weekend:

Finally caught the first half ("Millennium Approaches") of Angels in America. I have seen this first part twice on stage (and loved it), so I pretty much knew what to expect. But (and maybe it was just above stated funk), I was not bowled over by the movie version. Was I just distracted by watching the "big" names (Pacino, Streep, Thompson, Masterson) in the roles? The enhanced special effects that a filmed version allows over the stage that made the fantasy/hallucination sequences seem all the more (too?!) wacked out? Or maybe just my inability to manage my own expectations? Everything I read made Angels it seem like it was the second coming (double entendre on top of double entendre intended)...so, unfortunately, one of my favorite adages came true: "the anticipation of the event is often greater than the event itself."

Now before you get all Grey Davis on me and start a gay card recall campaign, let me say I did not think there was really anything wrong with it. The performances across the board were excellent (particularly Masterson) and some there were some incredible scenes (the Harper/Joe vs. Prior/Lou brilliant break-up scene jumps immediately to mind).

I am hoping that Part 2, "Perestroika," saves the day (I will probably watch it next weekend) -- I really do want to love it....really!

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Final thoughts on Survivor: Pearl Islands. An interesting end to, overall, one of the better chapters in the Survivor series. Sandra was certainly a deserving winner. She played just right... not too hard or under the proverbial "radar" -- and certainly took advantage of each and every mistake that her fellow castaways made along the way. I thought it may have been closer result with Lil, but she certainly self-destructed during jury questioning. I can sort of understand some of the intense grilling of the "good scout" turning bad, but I still wait for the day when the jury stops ragging on the final 2 for telling lies to get there. I can not imagine a Survivor where the below equation is NOT true:
Outwit+Outlast+Outplay=Lies, Lies, Lies
- posted by Ed | 12/15/2003 11:35:00 AM | | Link

Friday, December 12, 2003

One of the advantages of working from home is the ability to run errands during the week while the rest of the world is "at work." It is certainly one of the major reasons that I do not think I could ever go to work in a "real" office and work under the eyes of a boss (or anyone else for that matter).

I was might productive this morning -- in 25 minutes, I was able to run to the vet to pick up cat food (the old guy needs a special Science Diet blend), drop my Christmas cards off at the post office, deposit a paycheck in the ATM, and get a haircut. I am not sure that it takes a whole 7 minutes for my hair cut at the local SuperCuts is really a good thing! I guess I should be glad I still have more hair than my dad and brother...even including the grey ones that are increasingly starting to slip in.
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I don't really like the Christmas postage stamps this year. They are fairly gaudy cartoonish renditions of Santa or a reindeer playing musical instruments.
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I really think being on Survivor seriously messes with one's mind. Burton's exit speech was simply delusional...stating that he hopes that Lil (the very name he wrote down) can live with her decision to vote him off. Hubris claims yet another castoff. I guess I am rooting for Sandra at this point. She is a just devious enough for me. In the fantasy movie version, I cast Judy Reyes (Carla from Scrubs) to fill her role.
- posted by Ed | 12/12/2003 10:18:00 AM | | Link

Thursday, December 11, 2003

I just finished writing my annual Christmas newsletter. Before you start rolling your eyes, let me say that I actually like receiving them. 98.956% of my friends and family do not even live within a day's worth of driving from me - so the letters provide a welcomed update on their lives. When I started my own newsletter, I kept it very tongue in cheek and witty (if I do say so myself!)...so even though I was giving into the silly tradition it was tempered with enough sarcasm to keep things in check.

A couple of weekends ago, I read in an article in the Sunday paper about holiday newsletter "etiquette." It stated such things as "don't brag about your children" and "don't provide news about people outside your immediate family." The one that struck me as really funny was "maintaining tone" and, more specifically, inappropriately jumping between good and bad news. The example they gave went something like this...

"We had the best vacation ever!! The Bahamas ROCK!" followed by...
"We are sorry to report that Dan has terminal cancer."

Now, I wasn't laughing about "Dan's" health - but I really thought it was a hoot that ANYONE would really do this in their newsletter. But sure enough I sat down to write my letter and pulled out the highlights/news of the year ... joining a health club/getting in shape, a fun trip to Las Vegas, shows/concerts attended, that everyone should get a TiVo... but then their was the death of my cat...and somehow following that up about the news of the new kitten in town...

My newsletter came to a screeching halt.

Just like the Bahamas/Dan, how could I successfully balance the trademark frivolity with this one piece of sad news? Maggie was my first ever pet. I adopted her shortly after I moved across the country and very far away from those 98.956% of family and friends. So she was there during some tough times (and 4 apartment/house moves). So there was no way I could leave this out of the letter.

So after some mental wrangling, I started off with the "I'm in the best shape of my life" episode and followed that with Maggie's passing. As above, I noted how we had been through a lot together and how tough those final weeks were. Then I noted the arrival of her "successor" (Lola the grey tabby kitten). It really seemed to be the most appropriate word as there certainly would/could never be a "replacement" for her. Anyhow, I sometimes think karma gave me just a little bit of Maggie back... Lola playing with some of Maggie's favorite toys or attaching herself to my side in bed on cold nights.

So the newsletter is done -- it did not exactly achieve "consistency in tone," but I
guess I will let you know when real life ever does.
- posted by Ed | 12/11/2003 11:20:00 AM | | Link

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

I am pretty picky when it comes to Christmas music.

Skipping more obvious selections (i.e. "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer," "Twelve Days of Christmas") here are some songs I do NOT like:

The Little Drummer Boy: You have to enjoy the rum-pum-pum-pum part, to enjoy this song and I just don't. Also growing up, I admit to being traumatized by the claymation TV show. I would cry every time the donkey got run over by the cart. I don't remember if he ends up being okay or not...but the song always makes me think about the poor donkey.

Jingle Bells: If I have to hear the "ha ha ha" one more time after the "over the fields we go, laughing all the way" line...I may just scream.

Hark the Herald Angels Sing: This one has bothered me more as adult due to overthinking. Is "herald" an adjective for a special type of angel? Are they singing "hark?" I thought it was "glory to the newborn king!"

Silent Night: This song made my grandmother cry, it eventually made my mother cry...and I am just not chancing it these days. You see in my family "sleep in heavenly peace" does not conjure up cozy images of a babe in the manger -- it means dead people, specifically family and friends who are no longer with us during the holidays. Darn depressing!

Ok, songs that I like:

White Christmas: Happy images... "tree tops glisten," "children listen," and "to hear sleighbells in the snow"... and the sending of well wishes - "may your days be merry and bright." And since I grew up in NJ ("like the ones I used to know") and now live in Phoenix, "dreaming of a white Christmas" is really all I can do.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: Ahh..."from now on our troubles will be far away," "faithful friends who are dear us, gather near to us once more"... and somehow making the line "through the years we all will be together if the fates allow" seem happy/hopeful and not depressing (darn fates!). "Make the yuletide gay"...sure, no prob! :-)

O Holy Night: The most dramatic Christmas song I think...quiet and stirring at first, building to a goose-bump climax. And of course it is all about the "true reason for the season."

Do You Hear What I Hear: Just a wonderful spin on the Christmas story...the "night wind" telling "little lamb" telling the "shepherd boy" telling the "mighty king" telling the "people everywhere." Add on... "a star with a tale as long as kite," "a voice as big as the night," and "He will bring us goodness and light" ... good stuff!

Blue Christmas: Elvis and only Elvis on this one please. Pure guilty pleasure.
- posted by Ed | 12/10/2003 09:26:00 AM | | Link

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Can a beauty find love with an Average Joe?

Nope.

Ouch! Talk about "reality" television. One final and sad little twist.

Zap2it's recap summed it up best...
"He (Adam) gave her his heart (and a burnt stuffed dog). She gave him an autographed picture and a hug."

I won't go on about it for fear of sounding too "involved," but Melana's decision hit too close to home on this sofa. Ok, so she seemed genuinely torn between the two guys, but I blame myself for gullibly falling victim to "The Reality Show Red Herring Golden Rule of Editing" (the end result will be the exact opposite of what is being suggested in all the events leading up to said end result).

Anyways, Melana best wishes to you and your future weatherman Jason "Storm" Peoples.
- posted by Ed | 12/09/2003 07:49:00 AM | | Link

Monday, December 08, 2003

I have been meaning to comment on Out Magazine's "100 Greatest Gay Success Stories of 2003" for awhile now...this is the mag's annual tribute to the gay "stars" of the year. Though I have to question how "successful" some of them are (especially the higher profile folks on the cover):

Boy Meets Boy's James Getzlaff - Yes, gay people can be duped by reality show twists just as well as their hetero counterparts! This was just a reality version of Will & Grace - with James an even wimpier version of Will, not finding love or affection and probably most happy spending time with gal pal Andra. Tho rumor has it that James has been seen around town with Queer Eye's Jai these days. Speaking of which...

Queer Eye guys - Undoubtedly the breakout gay stars of the year - catapulting from little show on basic cable to national phenomenon nearly overnight... but doesn't this reinforce every gay stereotype that we have ever (always?) seen on tv sitcoms, movies, etc? A bunch of fashionistas, groomers, cooks, interior decorators, and "culture" experts...but people love 'em, so I guess it's not so bad. I still watch.

Reichen & Chip - Yes, gay guys can win a reality game show (The Amazing Race -- truly the best reality show out there, watch it next season, I promise you won't be disappointed!). And unlike Survivor's Richard Hatch, these guys were/are young and hunky. The couple fought to be labeled as "married" on the show, but have since amicably split. Somehow I don't anticipate any controversy over gay "divorces."

Ellen Degeneres - The comeback lesbian of the year. With Rosie O'Donnell losing much of her good will over the past year or so, Ellen jumped back into the mix with a very funny HBO special, a talk show (which has recently been picked up for a 2nd year), and a starring role in the biggest movie of the year (the voice of Dory in Finding Nemo).

The Reverend Canon Gene Robinson - The true "pioneer" of the year as the first openly gay Anglican bishop. The more serious Advocate named him person of the year, but it is no surprise he ends up getting placed next to Bruiser Woods, Legally Blonde's chihuahua, on the much flufflier Out.

Left off but deserving a cover shot is Oprah's interior designer guru, Nate Berkus. Although I certainly wished he was gay, I did not want to fully jump to that conclusion until I saw it in print. Thanks Out! The man with the million doller smile is certainly a very popular search if my blog stats are any indication. So to shamelessly get more hits: Nate Berkus, Nate Berkus, Nate Berkus!! And like apparently dozens of other searchers - I would not mind seeing him (him being, Nate Berkus)...naked or nude or shirtless. Sorry for those of you clicking here and being disappointed, but keep searching and let me know if you find anything. :-)
- posted by Ed | 12/08/2003 08:49:00 AM | | Link

Friday, December 05, 2003

Well, now it is officially the holiday season. After viewing at least a dozen commercials for Chia Pets over the past few days, The Clapper finally made its triumphant return to the airwaves...and with snazzy new musical accompaniment to boot!

I can understand the intrinsic value and purpose of "The Clapper" (even beyond assisting bed-ridden grannies) but are Chia Pets really anything more than the ultimate (and longest running) holiday gag gift.

Are the pottery designers at Chia so overwhelmed by requests that they must come up with new creations each year to satiate the demands of the American consumers?

Is the miniature clay pot lobby a stronger force in DC (blackmailing the FCC) than I think?

Or is the debut of Chia Shaggy and Chia Scooby Doo just a thinly veiled scam to force collectors to shell out more of their hard earned money?

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I finally received my first handful of folks stumbling onto this blog thanks to a Google search!

The majority were any combo of the following:
Shania Twain, Password, Pre-Sale, NBC, Concert, Ticketmaster, Fan Club
This was in reference to my entry about whether or not to pay for pre-sale concert privileges. Folks probably left pretty disappointed since I did not offer up the magic word. I don't know if concert tix are still on sale or how ethical it is to reveal it... but as the classic game show line goes [in a hushed tone], the password is... SHANIA. The originality of it don't impress me much.

The other search was the following:
Survivor, Jon, Grandmother
Again... another disappointed reader. I never did specifically blog about Jon's "Big Lie" on Survivor, but I did have two separate posts about: Jon and his fellow castaways and memories of my grandmother.

I certainly appreciate the hits, but this makes me wonder if searching Google is really a good way to get answers.
- posted by Ed | 12/05/2003 07:58:00 AM | | Link

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

If you follow baseball (or perhaps even if you don't), you are probably aware that the AZ Diamondbacks traded Curt Schilling to the Red Sox. It was the first in a series of moves to improve last year's anemic offense while reducing payroll. This past week the Dbacks organization declared "mission accomplished" (tho, no banners on air carriers) with the signing of statuesque slugger Richie Sexson.

I have mixed feelings about the loss of Schilling. Despite a lackluster 2002-03 season (mostly due to an injury), there is no denying that he is still one of the top pitchers in baseball. When he is on, he is lights-out and his game preparation is impeccable (he has a software program that analyzes hitters!). And he was largely responsible for what will always be one of the highlights of my life - attending the 2001 World Series. Schilling pitched Game 7 with the Diamondbacks dramatically winning in the bottom of the 9th inning.

But with that talent also comes a little bit of ego. There is certainly more than one plateful of "diva" in Schilling -- from influencing whether the Bank One Ballpark roof was open or closed to bashing a camera that looks at the strike zone to his superstitious jumping over the foul line on his way back to the dugout. In subtle ways, it is clear to me that Schilling likes attention. During the trade talks, he seemed to glow at press conferences held outside of his house. Rumors flew that the trade hinged on family time off, guaranteed days off, pitching rotation position, a new manager being named, and holding onto his jersey number.

This morning in The Arizona Republic there was a full page "ad" (I am assuming it is an ad since it is not published on the newspaper's website) entitled Goodbye Arizona - a very lengthy farewell letter from Schilling. Pictured with his family, Schilling give thanks as well as expresses his glowing thoughts about his teammates, the organization, and the community. I could not help but get goose-bumps over his descriptions of the 2001 World Series. The letter certainly did not lack sincerity -- and Schilling, in a self-effacing closing, noted it was "long winded as usual"...but the cynical side of me could not help but ponder whether this was Schilling's last "look at me!" Arizona moment.

But I guess I should let him slide this time around. This is not a bad guy. He is a top-notch professional, a devoted husband and father, and actively involved in charity work. In sports, the astronomical salaries and fan devotion often do not include those type of things in one package.

So Curt, a genuine thanks for the memories and good luck in Boston!
- posted by Ed | 12/03/2003 09:40:00 AM | | Link

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Ok, I admit I have been watching NBC's Average Joe. Usually I watch it on TiVo days after it aired, but last night I could not resist tuning in to watch the "twist of the decade!!" as our fair maiden Melana donned a fat suit to become an "Average Jane" for a day (As she tore off her fat face, I was thinking Melana was really just auditioning for a role in the next "Mission Impossible" movie).

While I was not disappointed to see Zach (he pretty much has "jerk" tattooed across his forehead) sent packing over his comments about Melana's "cousin," I had to agree with him that it was pretty unfair. The secret surveillance of the "guy talk" was, like it or not, pretty typical and, dare I say, truthful. Granted it was still pretty stupid, even if there were no "official" cameras in the pool house...hello, this is still reality TV.

But how many of us are not guilty of a negative (or even nasty) thought (spoken or unspoken) about somebody's appearance? Has our blond cheerleader never ragged on anyone in her life? Remember this is the woman who not so subtly shuffled the heavier "Joes" out the door early in the elimination process and could barely keep her eyes in their sockets when the "models" were introduced into the man mix.

So we are left with Adam (a heavier, unshaven version of "Friends" Joey Tribianni) and pretty boy Jason. Since the whole darn premise of the show is to "find love with an Average Joe," it seems to make sense to have Adam "win." It is not like they have to consummate their relationship in "real" life.

However, if they allow Melana to go ahead and choose Jason (c'mon, isn't this what really would happen in the real world?), my guess is that he will (in the twist of the millennium?!) end up being gay -- heck, even Melana's "gaydar" went off and there had to be a reason they showed that part of the discussion last week. Ala "Beauty and The Beast," it will be karmic punishment (and a satisfactorily messy and "shocking" ending) for not choosing inner beauty.
- posted by Ed | 12/02/2003 09:43:00 AM | | Link

Monday, December 01, 2003

Quick recaps from the Thanksgiving weekend:

My first Thanksgiving as a cook went off without a hitch. Granted it was only dinner for two and no fancy side dishes, but nevertheless it was still nice to pull it off.

One yummy new side-dish though - cream cheese mashed potatoes (thanks to Rachael Ray from "The Food Channel") - pretty darn easy too...boil some potatoes, melt some cream cheese (we used chive & onion flavor) in some milk...combine and mash... hit it with some salt and pepper. Enjoy!
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Our dog needs a puppy...guest puppy (Lucy the Pug) was a huge hit with 1 1/2 year old basset hound Toby (and vice versa). They had a great time playing with each other and Mindy (dog #1) and the cats certainly enjoyed the break as Toby's primary targets. However, we would have to plead insanity to even consider adding another animal to the household...so the mind will prevail over the heart on this one.
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Putting up Christmas decorations is a bit like giving birth...a lot of pain and effort but worth the result once it is over (and you forget how much of a pain it is until the next year). The lighted indoor village and outdoor light display went up over the weekend.

Thanks to our temperate "winter" here in Phoenix, people tend to go a bit wacko with their light displays. We did a modest outdoor display for our first Christmas last year, but felt pretty dwarfed by our neighbor's 10,000+ light fantasy. So this year we kicked up our lighted "flying" reindeer display by creating a virtual lake -- adding approx. 1,800 blue lights with some white light "chasers" to create a really nice "water" effect. Still no competition to the glow from our neighbor's house (and not intended to be) -- but at least a tad more impressive!

After catching our breath, the tree goes up next weekend (I think)!
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If you are a fan of either of these two musical female power-houses (or both!) make sure to catch Crossroads with Melissa Etheridge & Dolly Parton on CMT. The two share the stage for an hour and take turns singing each other's songs. I think Melissa has much greater success in covering Dolly (makes you wish that the new Parton tribute album was all Melissa), but maybe it is just too strange to see/hear Dolly singing "Come To My Window" and "Bring Me Some Water." A great hour -- and plenty "Dolly-isms" to make you laugh out loud (she says of the drag queens that show up at her concerts "they look more like me than I ever could").
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Ah 4 days off... makes one wish that retirement was not so far away!
- posted by Ed | 12/01/2003 10:37:00 AM | | Link